Sunday, 8 September 2013

A Change?

Remained silent at the blog for some time now.
Not because there's nothing to write about.
But some things, I prefer to keep things to myself from now on.
Once a long time ago, I treated my blog as a diary.
Putting my smiles, cries, sorrows, pain in it....
I feel better venting out. I really do. Until to an extend, it didn't work anymore.
People read. Some judge, some don't. Some just don't give a damn, some just wanted to watch the drama.

One year ago. One year after. It's so unpredictable.
I've learnt to not push myself so hard anymore. And I never wanna go back anymore.
Right now, new environment, new surroundings.
Still shaky about my current decision. But I know I can only move on and not regret.
I chose this path. No excuses.
Keep walking on and I believe I'll reach what I yearn for some day.

Unwanted things always happen. ALWAYS.
But there's always a reason for everything.
Not voicing out doesn't mean I don't care.
Intentions might be good. But you don't know how many people you are hurting behind.
I didn't ask for this. but what to do?
Face it. Solve it. And live with it. That's it.
Furious. But no one to blame.
Cus everything happens for a reason.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Hypnotizing myself.
This will end. It will. It is going to end.
May is scary. Too scary.
With the upcoming events and presentations awaiting, I feel like I can't even breathe properly.
But, I've come so far.
And I will finish til the end.

Wish me luck.
Fingers crossed.

Sunday, 3 March 2013


CNY mode has died down. Went through 2nd week of my final semester.
Working on my FYP as usual. Just want to finish it well. 
Things were awesome in the beginning. 
Celebrated birthdays, reunion dinners, outings... 

But, things never always go well as I wanted. 
Emotions had the best and worst rollercoaster ride just in a week's time. 
How ironic that could be.
No complaints. I chose to be that way and that is what I need to bear with. 
I over-estimated my ability to deal with this.
Loss the secure feeling in love. I think I will never want to play this game again.
I can be too destructive and unmendable at the same time.

Doing what I am capable of and hoping for what I am incapable of. 
There's a quote saying, 'Best things come to the people who wait.'
But no. Deep down I wish that would happen but clearly in my head I know it won't.
Thus, the painful doubts I have to go through each day. 

No putting blames on anyone, anything.
Fate fools once in a while. Not funny, really. 
And, don't judge if you're not looking from my point of view.
So I'll just let it be, cuz I'm still undecided on what I should hang on to.
Time will tell, as usual. 

signing off. wishing for a better week to look forward to. 

Sunday, 17 February 2013

Welcoming the Snake Year

Did nothing but eat. drink. sleep. gamble. eat again. catching up with friends.
All in one week. Totally insufficient max. Okay maybe I'm greedy cus I get to enjoy a full 15-day CNY last year. Different this year. I want more!! :(

Oh wells. Just some photo spam in this post. 

With beloved grandma on Chor 1.
Love CNY cuz it's the only time adults will allow me to take photos of them without complaining. 
hehehe. well I just love collecting family photos. don't ask me why C:

Grandchildren with grandma on Chor 1. 

All 9 of us cousins on Chor 2. super candid shot.
Steamboat is the tradition for us on Chor 2 heheh
I still remembered we just needed one table to fit all of us last time.
Now we made it 2. and still so crowded. 
Don't wanna grow up so badly. ooops...

And crazy selca with crazy sister. 
Seriously don't know where we inherited these genes from. haha
Parents showed no signs of these characteristics. :D

super 'lala' pose. 
once in a while ok lar. but not okay if doing that everytime.

And main reasons of CNY.
Catching up with friends! :D
Will update in future posts on the meet ups this CNY.
If I have the mood. Lol

Emo max when thinking of driving back to KL tomorrow.
Final semester! It sucks.
Okay no complaining.
Just hoping the traffic tomorrow won't be disastrous.
Fingers crossed.
Til then. xoxo

Thursday, 17 January 2013

One week late

Blogging to release some minor stress? haha 
It's lab, lab and labbbbb again. Now I know why scientists go mad. 
nolar just joking.
ain't that bad.

Anyways, short update on a day out with my housemates
Which was so last week. I know I'm late.
Random one. 

Went in 2 cars to Paradigm Mall.
Planned to shop at different shops but ended up buying stuff at the usual shops available at my area.
At least we enjoyed? 

I admit this is a vain post. heh
Random shots in the car while waiting. 

Meet my lovely housemate, Chloe.
She's a sweet girl ^^

Life's too short. So smile when we have teeth.

A long day ahead tomorrow.
Must be tough.
Everything will be fine. 

Oh my dear thesis I can't wait for the day I pass you up.
Torture much. I'm not a patient girl. That's why.
Research needs patience.
pheww I'm learning okehh...

Okay seriously this is a rubbish post.


Saturday, 12 January 2013

And another semester gone

Yes. In a blink of an eye, another semester down. This leaves me with my very last semester of my uni life. And this is no joke. I actually cannot believe it. I'm finally left with my final semester. 
Would it be a tough one? An eventful one? A rough one? Who knows? Just bring it on. 

This semester was just, let's just say, a semester to remember. I had went through the worst times throughout the years. Pain, tears, pleading, smiles, friendship, love, heartbreaks, disappointments, sadness... You name it, I encountered it. May it be regarding family, friends and relationship. It took quite a long time. Still taking all the time I need. I know I can. Someday I'll just smile and laugh it off like it was nothing. 

Full of challenges ahead, especially in dealing with my final year thesis. Everyone's worse nightmare and the best part in uni life too at the same time based on what seniors shared. It had been a good four years in university. From the naive first year being blur with every single things til now, being a final year student, time passed like no one's business and it's way too fast. We learned, we grew, we smiled and cried. 

And it just seemed so yesterday.

Quite a few events to remember still this semester. 

One would be my seniors' convocation. Seeing them wearing their graduation robes proudly on their big day, I feel so happy for them, especially my dear buddies. They have been taking good care of me since I enter uni life, and seriously I wasn't quite used to it being on my own at the beginning of the semester as there's no one there to turn to already like always. I am so thankful and happy to have all of you as my buddies and I mean it for real. 

Huan Ching. Me. Hui Hui

With my buddy. Miss her loads
And is my role model. Learnt a lot from her.
Really thankful to know you my dear :)

Xiao Ling. Another buddy of mine.
Takes super good care of me too.
Yeah I know I'm spoilt. heheh

With the girls. Friendship grew.
One of the best part in uni is knowing all of you girls. C=

Darlings in Malacca. Had a good time with them although it was just 2 days.
Cures of pains they are. 

Big thank you to a friend for always being there. I know I'll get you into trouble if I did paste your face here so I did not. See? I'm so good. ahhaha But seriously, I wouldn't have strived through without you. Thank you for your shoulder to cry on. It had been really really helpful and I know saying thank you to you will get myself scolded. teehee... All the crazy things and stuff we did, helped me feel better. You saw my worse moments ever. And it really was an indescribable that how I earned such a good friend through these pains. 
Everything happens in a miraculous way isn't it? C:
Thanks friend! Owe you a bunch. 

And did part time jobs this semester. Money is everything! ahhaa
no lar money isn't everything, but without money you can do nothing :p
Just a few jobs done with friends.
Let me syok sendiri put one full picture here lar heheh

Random hang outs with the girls. 
They always have a way to cheer me up, isn't it? Huicy Chua?? ahhaha

And I love gatherings still. Although things have changed, but I would do anything for a warm gathering with friends. Cheers to uni friends, all of you played a big role in colouring my uni life :)

The usual must-go event of the year.
Pesta Tanglung Drama.
or whatever they name it lar. :D

There are still many bits and pieces throughout the semester.
But I'll just end this one here.

One more semester left.
Now this is scary. 
I'm starting to miss uni already. crazy much. ahhaha

Tells myself, it's either now or never.
So why waste time on the wrong things when you can spend it in a better way on things that matter.
Work hard. and make the last semester worthwhile
aza aza fighting! C:

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

A Brand New Year

Old school title. Not being creative lately. :D
2013. A year to look ahead.
Leaving all the heart-breaking dramas behind.
This new year's wish: 
I want to be a better me and spare me from any pain anymore.

These 4 months, didn't know how I really went through. 
But was lucky to have so many friends with me going through all the tears and pain.
Couldn't ask for more. Love all of you. You all know who you are. 

And yes for you, ily. But they were right.
You are no good for me. No where near.
And thanks to you, I've lost trust in guys. For the time being.

So some happy pictures to start a new year.
I'll mend all the broken pieces.
A promise to myself in 2013. 

J. Rarely get to see her anymore now that's she's working in Aussie.
But at least we're just a call or a text away. Her words accompanied me through darkest moments when nobody else could talk sense into me. Thank you dear. I'll remember our promise. Better us when we meet again in August. 

Ten years and still growing. Love you girls more than I can say.

S. Another pain antidote of mine. Never being able to frown or pull a sad face when she's around. 
No more tears. I promise. I know you would murder if it was legalised. But just forget about it kay? ehhe I will recover. Promise. And I'll see you soon again in Penang! :)

Primary school mates since young. hehhe
Yes you can stop your creative elaboration. It did not happen okay.
But it's really fun talking to you. Never able to stop a moment to emo when talking to him. :P
Really felt better although we just had a short chat. All the best in your working life soon!

H. You too dear. Owe you big time. Always there to make me smile and do crazy stuff.
Yes I'm a lucky girl :p 

R. Thank you dear for being patient listening to all my tantrums.
Of course even if I don't speak, you still know what I'm going through as usual. 
Can't tell you how happy I am to be able to know you C:

High school mates. Seldom meet. But close as always. 

What more can I ask than having awesome friends by my side, may it be ups or downs.

2012 taught me how to appreciate and not take things for granted.
2012 taught me that people don't wait forever.
2012 taught me that people can change and you felt like you don't know them anymore.
2012 taught me that love can damage you so hard and 
you would do anything that you said you would never do before.

but in spite of everything...
2013 will be better. 
I know.
Cus it's in my hands whether I want to or not. 
I'm not gonna let my family down again.

Moving on isn't easy. But it's the wisest thing to do now.
Some day, I'll smile like I used to.